it's hard to believe...
It really is hard to believe that Christmas is just in a few days. I have a confession. I still haven't wrapped the kids presents!!! I really need to get on that!
Not sure what my exact plans for Christmas Day are yet. I have plans for the weekend with family. I don't know if I'm going to be staying through the Holiday or not. I'm not all that excited about it honestly. I know the boys will enjoy their new toys and Tristan will love the dvd's I got them. Mostly, they won't understand though.
This whole holiday season has just sucked. I've been so depressed and dark and cynical. It's funny watching all these Christmas movies and shows. It really makes me want to believe. I want that magic. I don't remember when I stopped believing exactly. It was around 4th grade. I don't remember being heartbroken or anything. Just an acknowledgement. It makes me sad now though.
Why do we stop believing as we grow up? Who says it can't be real? Maybe it is real? I know it defies reason and logic. I mean wouldn't the world be a much nicer place if it were all real? What if we weren't all haunted by the ghosts of Christmases past? What if we could ride along the Polar Express? Do we have to see to believe? What if believing really is seeing? Why does it have to be so hard to believe?
Not sure what my exact plans for Christmas Day are yet. I have plans for the weekend with family. I don't know if I'm going to be staying through the Holiday or not. I'm not all that excited about it honestly. I know the boys will enjoy their new toys and Tristan will love the dvd's I got them. Mostly, they won't understand though.
This whole holiday season has just sucked. I've been so depressed and dark and cynical. It's funny watching all these Christmas movies and shows. It really makes me want to believe. I want that magic. I don't remember when I stopped believing exactly. It was around 4th grade. I don't remember being heartbroken or anything. Just an acknowledgement. It makes me sad now though.
Why do we stop believing as we grow up? Who says it can't be real? Maybe it is real? I know it defies reason and logic. I mean wouldn't the world be a much nicer place if it were all real? What if we weren't all haunted by the ghosts of Christmases past? What if we could ride along the Polar Express? Do we have to see to believe? What if believing really is seeing? Why does it have to be so hard to believe?
posted by Tabatha at 6:19 PM
1 Comments:
2 things...
;)
1. I just figured out, reading "Long December" that the header on your blog was a reference to U2's Beautiful Day. The whole time your blog header said that I couldn't figure out why, specifically. Then at 5 am while I was on my way to the post office (like any self respecting procrastinator) to use the 24 self serve kiosk, I was listening to Beautiful Day and heard those words LOL. She CAN be taught.
2. When I told mom in the 4th grade that I no longer believed, she convinced me that if I didn't believe Santa wouldn't come. She bought me a few more years that way.
This is what I tell Nathan---that kids who don't believe still get gifts...from their parents...but Santa can make things happen that parents can't. I'm trying to get him to continue to believe even though the jacka$$es at school are already trying to tell him otherwise. *sigh*
I know that Tristan will love his DVD's and try to enjoy the holidays even if you just have to fake it till you make it. You are still more than welcome here...the more the absolute merrier.
Love ya sis
Lena
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