a collective sigh
Hey bloggers! I'm blogging early today. I know most of my posts tend to come between midnight and 4 am LOL. I missed blogging yesterday though, so it's all good, right? I just wasn't up to blogging yesterday.
I've had a couple of emotionally crappy days in a row, that is always tough :(. I can't seem to "snap" out of this funk. I haven't designed in ages, I haven't scrapped in days. I can't even bring myself to do it. I know most all designers go through periods where they question if their talent and whether or not they should continue. I'm going through that right now.
Mostly, I love designing. I love being creative. I've just been drowning so deeply in depression that I've been very uninspired. I do have some ideas floating around in my head but nothing large enough to really inspire me and build on. Maybe I just need a small break? I don't make a fortune at designing, but I do make enough that I would miss the income......sigh....hmmmm...I guess I'm already taking an unplanned break!
The really sucky thing is that I haven't been able to scrap in the last little bit either. I mean, when my 'slump' started and I essentially stopped designing, I was rocking the layouts. I could feel the creativity oozing from me while I was working on them. I'm feeling zapped with that now too. I've fiddled around with some potential layouts only to trash them.
I KNOW it's the depression. It has to be. I just really not feeling like myself. Things that I find great comfort in seem empty to me know. I can't derive any happiness from much of anything but my boys. Even with them, the effects of the depression are showing. I have let Tristan watch way too much Blues Clues in the last 48 hours :(.
I do have one bit of odd (and not depressing) news to share. I had the STRANGEST dream a couple of nights ago. I dreamt that I saw Gina Miller on David Letterman. For real, he was interviewing her on the show. Wanna know who else was on the show? Magenta. From Blues Clues. She was on the show to 'talk' about her new glasses. It was bizarre.
I know I have asked before but again, I would greatly appreciate any prayers or thoughts you have to spare. I don't know how much longer I can stand feeling this way :(.
I've had a couple of emotionally crappy days in a row, that is always tough :(. I can't seem to "snap" out of this funk. I haven't designed in ages, I haven't scrapped in days. I can't even bring myself to do it. I know most all designers go through periods where they question if their talent and whether or not they should continue. I'm going through that right now.
Mostly, I love designing. I love being creative. I've just been drowning so deeply in depression that I've been very uninspired. I do have some ideas floating around in my head but nothing large enough to really inspire me and build on. Maybe I just need a small break? I don't make a fortune at designing, but I do make enough that I would miss the income......sigh....hmmmm...I guess I'm already taking an unplanned break!
The really sucky thing is that I haven't been able to scrap in the last little bit either. I mean, when my 'slump' started and I essentially stopped designing, I was rocking the layouts. I could feel the creativity oozing from me while I was working on them. I'm feeling zapped with that now too. I've fiddled around with some potential layouts only to trash them.
I KNOW it's the depression. It has to be. I just really not feeling like myself. Things that I find great comfort in seem empty to me know. I can't derive any happiness from much of anything but my boys. Even with them, the effects of the depression are showing. I have let Tristan watch way too much Blues Clues in the last 48 hours :(.
I do have one bit of odd (and not depressing) news to share. I had the STRANGEST dream a couple of nights ago. I dreamt that I saw Gina Miller on David Letterman. For real, he was interviewing her on the show. Wanna know who else was on the show? Magenta. From Blues Clues. She was on the show to 'talk' about her new glasses. It was bizarre.
I know I have asked before but again, I would greatly appreciate any prayers or thoughts you have to spare. I don't know how much longer I can stand feeling this way :(.
posted by Tabatha at 3:53 PM
2 Comments:
Geesh, sounds like you are on quite a roller coaster ride! Did you notice your last post was titled "Good Times" and today you sound like you're back down in the basement. Is there any way you can get involved in a weekly activity without the kids? I think you need a break in routine and a little time away with the grown ups. Sending prayers. Hang in there. This too shall pass.
Deb
Ohh Tab! I so know how you feel! So so so know how you feel! Been there, and totally have you in my prayers babe!
And this too shall pass!
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